if i lived 'til i was a hundred and two...

once again another wednesday spent just trying to get through the day while dealing with the angst of waiting for the weekend to come. i can't believe we've only been in school a week...thank you, kevin, for reminding us all of that. i am almost getting apathetic towards it all nowadays. things are changing in ways i never thought they would (most likely due to my naiveity). i feel secluded more and more everyday. and although i try to convince myself that its ultimately a good thing, it is still a little hard to deal with. maybe i'm not exactly how i think i am or want to be. probably not a thought i want to delve into tonight; i don't want to cause myself to feel more apathy and get all depressed.
classes went by faster than i thought they would today, so that was good. tomorrow i only have weights and history, but then i work from noon until 3:30. maybe my work schedule this semester wasn't the best idea i've ever had. at least tomorrow should go by fairly quickly and then it will be friday. i found out that dr. thomas, my latin teacher, is going to recommend/nominate (whatever you want to call it) me for the latin honor society dealie. i wasn't really listening when professor bucher explained it to me last semester, but it can't be bad by any means.
my aunt had her fifth (five is far too many!) child yesterday afternoon, a baby girl who still has no name. i'll probably get taken to see them both and my other cousins at some point in the near future while my grandparents are still out here helping out with all the kids. the good news is that this seems to be the only one of her children that doesn't have something horribly wrong with them at birth like the preceding ones did, so we are all really happy about that even though my aunt is the one who always ruins family events (sad, but true...she's evil, even my mom and her brothers and sisters say it).
anyway, i'm looking forward to the weekend for a few reasons. of course, the normal reasons in that it is a weekend. no classes, but lots of homework. my politics professor is making us read a book by class monday...and he even said "...just in case you had too much free time on your hands." jerk. oh well. i'm still looking forward to spending time with people (well, just one) who actually talk to me and don't attempt to ignore my existence...things like that, you know. on that point, i feel like i'm stuck in this place where i can't figure out how i'm supposed to act around certain people. its starting to really get to me because i feel like i have to be much more guarded in my words and actions around crew people...to the point where i don't even talk to brian in front of crew people (as it happened today).
but, i am going to stop before i say anything else incredibly stupid.