a shift.

in the past two days, most of my attention (to an extent) has been directed towards relay for life. this seems to be something that i have attached myself to pretty intensely. i feel like everyone else in my family (in denver anyway) has done their part ever since morgan died...
joan and steven started the foundation and set up artma and concours. they are truly amazing people, it really amazes me.
grandma and grandpa donated more money than anyone else to sponsor every event since the first artma, not to mention all the smaller yet just as important things they did for the events, from watching andrew and grace, to doing the things that they do best: supporting everyone.
mom and dad donated money, bought a lot at each event, mom was on one of the head committees, dad built and set up numerous things, especially for artma, and they always watch andrew and grace whenever joan and steven need it.
jay and brian have done their fair share, despite starting lives of their own.
jay was on the committee with mom, was down there every week helping out, and spent days on end working to get everything set up and taken down.
brian's busy with his debate stuff all the time, but even he helps out.
what did i do? relatively nothing compared to everyone else.
i feel like this is something i can do though, something i have to do. i've decided that if i don't make my goal by spring break, i'll pay the difference. if i could, i would do more. but what can i do? i don't even know.
if there was one thing i could do to change the way things happened, i would take it all away from morgan, the pain and everything. that's the only way things would be right.
i know i'm going to be disappointed with this whole thing. i don't think anyone else is taking this seriously, or maybe not seriously enough. i could be wrong. i hope i am.
i hope we can make a difference.
i'll never forget.
my relay for life page