hocked up on goofballs

...as brian would say.
as of dinner tonight, today officially became my off-day for the week. i had a cookie at dinner, and in the midst of my (futile) studying for chem, i had two mountain dews, half a box of jolly joes (mmm), and quite a few pieces of candy. so good, except now i'm going crazy. its 1:30ish, i'm awake, and not studying for the huge exam i am prepared to fail tomorrow. at least i'm prepared to fail...beats being unprepared. its kinda a glass half full way to look at it. instead of being unprepared to do well, i'm prepared to fail. mmhmm. interesting. all my other classmates (nicole included, and i'm sure kate way over in deglman) are in the middle of their all-nighters. eh, forget that. my mind is saturated...i'll do poorly whether i go to sleep after this or if i stayed up all night attempting to study. at least this way, i'll get a decent amount of sleep. i'll get up tomorrow at 7:03, take a shower, then look over some stuff until breakfast at 8:50 (what's the bet brian's late....just kidding.)
i am really looking forward to pretty much everything as soon as i get out of chem/world lit tomorrow. practice should be alright...2x20 min. could be worse. studying for weights and reading some history...won't be horrible. thursday night are the bball championships. i hope we can win this time after having tied this team the first game of the season...blegh...ties. friday will be sweet, no politics class in the morning and fun day at practice. excellent. and then saturday...well, yea, i can't wait.
my deep thoughts for the night, or maybe just things that confuse/upset me...
how a person can say and act portraying a whole set of ideas and things and then you find out that there's so much more under the surface that they're not telling you. it's hard for me to deal with. as psychic as i think i am, i can't figure out what people are thinking (is that why i trust very few people?). i almost feel betrayed, as if people don't tell me what they're actually feeling because they don't trust me or they don't think i'll understand or something like that.
even worse is that i thought i had it figured out last night. i thought we had gotten at least something accomplished. well, apparently not. i wonder what interesting things were learned about me last night. maybe i don't want to know. interesting sounds negative and very ominous. all these things you're saying make no sense to me, yet i know i can't brood on it because i'll never get a clear cut answer about any of them.
and apparently we're just not going to talk about it, or if we do, it won't be real.
moral and ethical...what does that mean?
now i'm a little grouchy. i'm going to bed where i can dream of a place where i wouldn't have to deal with all this.