good luck exploring the infinite abyss

infinite abyss...sounds familiar.

i'm tired. my eyes hurt.
i'm sad. my heart hurts.
i'm alone. and i don't know what to do.

i wish there was a way to change something.

can i do that? is it possible? of course. well, maybe not of course, but yes, it is possible. is it plausible? doubtie. (smile)

what do i do now?

have i alienated myself entirely?


a few things...
- don't judge people. let their identites unfold in front of you.
- stop spending money. don't buy unnecessary things. don't get upset about the small stuff.
- smile at the things that should be smiled at: nature, other people, kindness...
- laugh at the things that should be laughed at: yourself.
- relax. you've got time.
- enjoy the everyday and the not so everyday events of life.
- take it one day at a time. one day. one hour. one moment. every moment.

i sound like a cliche 'philosophical' or 'self help' book. i've become that which i once despised? or was what i despised what i am?

the question of yesterday: are we, the nonconformists, conforming to nonconformity?

the question of today: why am i unhappy?

the question of tomorrow: how do i make it better?

"everything will be okay in the end. it its not okay, then its not the end."
- a good end to my questions...

everything will be alright.

just believe.

and now for the contradiction of the evening:
do some real thinking...figure some things out. who are you? what do you want? what's important? why do you do the things you do - for you or for someone else? are your feelings real or have you been deceived?
think about it.