i'm just a fool

i'm having trouble.

push one day, pull the next. they are so contradictory...how can i reconcile the two?

everyone wants to be wanted by someone...anyone. to feel loved. human nature. and in this respect, i'm just like everyone else. i'm ok when i have it and depressed when i don't, but those swings come all too often. i feel nearly bipolar. i could have control if i wanted it, but that's a big risk. too big of a risk for me to take.

i've been listening to a lot of jack johnson tonight. i think its bad for me. it seems to make too much sense to me. i don't want that.

"i'm just a fool learning lovin someone don't make them love you."

what a harsh reality to face, especially with no one to ask for help.

i'm getting torn in two completely opposite directions. and then a third by something entirely unrelated that i cannot even comprehend.

i need to take a look at how i live my life. how i affect others around me. i need to stop and think.

would you wait for me?