everybody wake up

a random compilation of thoughts, feelings, and musings...

- i'm incredibly excited for september 9th, 10th, and 11th...whichever show(s) i go to. it will be an expensive adventure (already is), but it will be worth it to see dave back at red rocks for the first time in 8 years.

- i miss paul. i haven't seen him since saturday and i have no idea when he gets back from his trip. he's a goofy idiot, but he's someone for me to hang out with, at least. he's also someone i can talk to about...things, since he knows both people. hmm.

- i'm looking forward to tomorrow night. partying with this group of people should prove to be interesting, but i know it will be fun regardless.

- i got my promotion/raise yesterday. bag room supervisor/$9.50 per hour. i hope this doesn't mean that i can't get some hours in the pro shop in july and august, but i guess i'll just have to wait to see. i'm happy because i know i deserve it, but i'm scared and nervous at the same time since now there's a title and i have responsibilities (which i will hopefully get to talk to matt about today when i go pick up my HUGE check), or something.

- the same amount of people showed up to the meeting last night as did last week, which just blows my mind. last week we had fourteen out of some twenty-two. last night we had fourteen, but now we're down to nineteen, i think, since two quit and one got fired (finally!). james (the other supervisor, even though he doesn't do shit) pissed me off at the meeting. he was totally condescending and made a really out-of-line comment about the bag room employees. what an ass. he shouldn't be supervisor. sometimes i can deal with him, and other times i want to kill him.

- i'm scared to go talk to matt. he likes me now and that's a great improvement from last season, but he is still intimidating and i don't seem to say what i mean to when i'm talking to him.

- i'm always scared that i've pissed ben off in some way. he is the absolute last person i would want to upset because he always tries to protect me when him, i, or both of us are in trouble.

- i am ruled by my emotions far too much. i say things i shouldn't and that i don't really mean in that way. i let my anger (or whatever intense emotion it may be) get the best of me. i need to work on that...for a lot of reasons.

- i'm steadily becoming more and more apathetic towards things i never thought that would happen to. that scares me. i don't know what the cause or remedy for it is either.

- today:
shower
food
pick up paycheck from pinehurst
talk to matt and/or ben
deposit check
random errands
relax at the pool