this is it.

this right here is the latest i've been up for awhile. all these opening shifts at the course have gotten me into a routine of going to bed around 11 since i get up at 4:30. i close tomorrow night and then open monday morning at 5am...can't wait.

katie and i saw sahara last night. paul and i went to see crash tonight. both were good, but in ways i cannot even comprehend. i need to see crash again before i will be able to make any sort of intelligent deliberations on it (since i fell asleep for a few minutes in the middle there).

i feel betrayed and don't know what to think, feel, do, or say about any part of it all. i just know that i am alone. i understand, now more than ever, that everyone is running around on their own, worrying about themselves and not much else. that makes me sad, but then i realize that i fall into that category of everyone despite how much i wish i didn't. is there even a way to prevent it?

i got some news tonight that i suppose i knew was coming, but i was still not entirely prepared for it. i don't think i ever will be. i don't really want to work tomorrow night with jeff considering the circumstance. i don't want to work monday with ben either, for that matter. at that point, maybe the chance to go into the pro shop would not be a wise choice if i were to get that opportunity.

i made a decision a few days ago. only two people know about it, and neither of them understands the magnitude of the decision. interesting.

i'm not in the mood anymore.