it's wednesday

and with wednesday comes the realization that i haven't really done much so far this week. i've slept, watched movies, and relaxed some, but other than that, i haven't really accomplished anything.

today, i went to lunch with jill (olive garden...mmm), which was good. we don't really ever get to spend very much time together. it can be akward sometimes because neither of us has sisters, so we're not really used to it, but it is getting better, which is good because i think she will be my sister-in-law soon enough. after i dropped her off back at their house, i drove over to pinehurst. i spent about an hour there talking to everyone. it was good to be back in the place where i spent 90% of my summer. it was good to talk to matt and he says the pings will probably be mine once he talks to bob-o about it tomorrow. jack, lara, and dave were the only ones there, which was ok, but i am really looking forward to seeing bob and ben again. i had forgotten how much i missed them all until i walked in the door today. i'm going to play golf tomorrow (paul's on crutches, so he's just going to drive the cart). and then lara and i might play on friday since it's her birthday (she's turning 24...its weird that she's the same age as brian is). i might also be snowboarding on friday if a-basin is open, so i'm not sure what's going to happen. i guess i'll just have to wait and see how it turns out.

i'm supposed to be hanging out with paul tonight, if he ever calls me (that kid has serious issues using technology sometimes). apparently i'm also going to a movie with my parents tonight (when i told my mom i wanted to see proof, i meant just with her since we had seen the play together, but it may be better that my dad comes along since she's pissed at me and he is all sad because he doesn't think i've spent any time with him). the truth is that i haven't spent any time with anyone really. i just don't have the heart to tell them that i didn't come home for fall break to hang out with them. but, i don't think i will be coming home when i don't have to anymore because i don't want to deal with this shit anymore. they guilt me whenever they have the chance. the moment is rapidly approaching when i will freak out from all the guilt trips and tell them i didn't come home to spend every minute with them. it's seriously getting on my nerves.

for example, my mom got all pissed at me today because she asked me if i wanted soup for lunch and i told her i was going to lunch with jill. she freaked out and went upstairs and got in the shower (leaving the soup to boil over...which i'm sure she blamed on me). it is so frustrating. i feel like i'm going to explode just thinking about all the shit they've been giving me. and they've even been complaining to jay about it. last night, i told brian i would go hang out with him (and fenway) after i ate dinner with jay and my dad, so after i left, my dad apparently freaked out to jay about how he doesn't understand why i don't want to hang out with him. that's nice and all, but jesus, i didn't spend much time with them the entire summer when i was at work or hanging out with alyssa, ben, jeff, lara, and paul...i have no idea why they expected me to spend an entire week with them when i came home this time. if i had known they were going to take a week off and were expecting me to be with them every minute of the day, i would have told them not to take the time off work, or to go on vacation alone.

yep, this is pissing me off too much. my head is going to explode. i've gotta go distract myself with something else before i freak out. and now i'm not relaxed at all...just frustrated. argh! i don't want to come home anymore just so i don't have to deal with them, but of course i want to come home...i'm a colorado girl and that's not going to change. i love my parents to death, they're just driving me crazy this week. being home makes me realize that there is no way i could ever go to school in colorado. i think i'll be staying at creighton no matter what.

time to do some homework, i think.