undoubtedly one of the worst nights

i usually go to bed between 9:45 and 10:15. its 1:30 in the morning. i am close to freaking out. not because i'm busy and can't spare the time to sleep...no, no. i was in bed at 10:15 tonight. i was fine. i had music. i had a dark room. and my luck tonight just had to be that i wasn't fully asleep when ashely came back into the room to go to bed (which always involves at least half an hour of reading shitty gossip magazines, and which are now the bane of my existence...i don't ever want to see another one). it isn't just the reading of these magazines that bothers me. its the use of her lamp, which is somehow brighter than the huge 2 foot light on our ceiling. so of course, this wakes me up and i am stuck laying in my bed trying to get my music loud enough to drown out the sound of the turning pages (which are constant because they're more of a picture book type thing to her...reading those articles is tough stuff, you know?), but quiet enough so that if for some reason, a miracle occured and i was able to ignore the blinding light and fall asleep that the music wouldn't keep me awake. tonight's half hour of fun was spent trying to restrain myself and not chuck one, or all three, of my pillows across the room at her pretty dumb head (friends reference, in case you missed it). somehow i kept myself from making ammo of my pillows, however a consequence of that was that my sanity is now gone. it is now after 1:30am, i am fucking exhausted, yet i cannot sleep. my only hope is that staring at a computer screen will make my eyes finally want to close for good...even though at the rate i'm going, i will be lucky to get an hour of sleep in before i have to wake up and go to practice. i have a feeling i will be sleeping through....yawn....physics and biology tomorrow. and i have no idea if i'll have enough energy to make it through work and then the NAS group meeting before i go to my appointment with the orthopedic guy at 4 (but apparently he sometimes doesn't even show up until after 5...gotta love the organization of the athletic training offices). another yawn. but i don't think i'm there yet. my other motivation to continue writing is the thought that PERHAPS the light from my laptop and the clicking of my typing is driving her as crazy as her magazing page-turning in light like a fake sun (something like a tanning machine to give her that nice fake tan...) was driving me. i didn't think it was possible at first, but as i was writing that last sentence, i heard some shifting around from her bed...ah, there it is again. maybe my goal has been reached. can i sleep yet, oh horrible torturing gods of night?

and i'll admit it right here...i don't know what those last few sentences mean...a good sign: loss of rational thinking. time for sleep, i can only hope.

i'll add this in here just for kicks...

10 days, 16 hours, 17 minutes, and 15 seconds until this wretched semester is over.