wipe that tear away now

it seems that i underestimated how bad finals were going to be. i am going to pay for having put off that ethics paper and the journals, but i think i'll get them done eventually. i'm so lucky he pushed them back to thursday. i hope to have them all done by tuesday night so that i can spend the majority of the day on wednesday studying for physics, which i am scared out of my mind for. but first, i have to deal with NAS and biology on monday. native american studies should be interesting. he gave us 125 terms to study, he'll put 30 on the test, and we have to pick 20 of them to answer. and he gave us six possible essays for the test and he'll choose two of them. sounds a bit ridiculous to me. biology is scary because i think i may have to come to grips with needing to re-take that at some point next year (which i won't have time to do). blegh. stupid bio. hopefully my lab and paper grades can help even me out a little bit.

and the hits just keep on coming. i can't transfer money to my checking account so that my check doesn't bounce because the bank of the west blows and i can't access my savings account online. oh, and they charged me exorbitant service charges because the asses in romania who stole my credit card number used ATMs that weren't recognized by bank o' the west. ridiculous.

i've been trying to keep myself from thinking about it, but it is incredibly hard for me. i keep checking to see if there's anything from you. of course there isn't. i have to be strong. i can't let this get to me...again. i know it will though. it is making concentrating on anything very difficult. i've got to find a way to get away from my computer. i may be heading down to the java jay pretty soon to start working on bio even though i have absolutely no idea where to begin. this is the point where my head starts to feel like it is going to explode.

on one hand, i don't want this weekend to ever end just so that i don't have to deal with what is coming on those four days. on the other, i just want this weekend to go as fast as possible so that it is monday and then time will fly by. and before i know it, i'll be on a train back to denver for three and a half weeks. i can't wait. i just want to get away from all of this. right now. (i feel like i just sounded like the little brat girl from willy wonka and the chocolate factory who turns into a blueberry..."what do you do when your kid is a brat?")

the plan:
start reading the new chapters of bio
go over final exams from previous years
food
more bio...look over notes since i slept through class or had no idea what he was talking about the whole semester
maybe work on some ethics journals or research for the paper
and at some point, i will have to do something non-school. maybe i'll watch a movie tonight before i go to bed.

one good thing: we're not expected to be at practice at all in the morning this week. i won't go monday, except to weights. i'll probably go tuesday and wednesday before work, but not on thursday.

getting closer...

5 days, 1 hour, 21 minutes, and 28 seconds