green to red

looking back through time, you know it's clear that i've been blind, i've been a fool to ever open up my heart.

i can't explain anything right now. this really is the haze now.

nothing is like it should be. or maybe it all is, just for you.

we go back and forth. a tug of war. only the whole thing isn't real. you think you're winning, but you're really not. and when i think i'm winning, it's actually already over and i just can't see it. what i see isn't reality. neither is what you see. we've each created our own.

i'm stuck in a dream. chasing something. something i can't even see. i reach out for it. and then i fall. down below the nothingness in my mind. and the pain is there. there where there isn't anything at all.

i'll be a shadow of a memory soon. but how soon? when will you let me slip away? tomorrow? next week? or have you already? did i slip, or was i thrown? do you even know?

the best part is that you've known the whole time, yet somehow it's my fault because i didn't explicitly say it. or did i? were you just not listening? should i even have needed to say it?

none of that all matters though.

how are we going to deal with this now?

bring me that abyss for the time being.